The 'Dancing With the Stars' judges were feeling pretty generous last night, and gave out the season's first perfect score of 10's to Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan. They were also hard on a few dancers who, they were sure, did lifts during their routines, which are verboten.

Marie Osmond, Cameron Mathison, Jennie Garth, and Jane Seymour were all questioned and chastised when the judges thought that they did the illegal maneuvers, and were scored downward accordingly. Apparently a lift is categorized as something that happens using the partner as a lift-off point, doing something with both feet off the ground, and/or doing a move that can't be done without the partner's help.

Whatever. I think lifts should be allowed, and don't know why they aren't.

Moving on. Mark Cuban was slightly lighter on his feet, and only got in a little bit of trouble for looking like a lumbering bear on the dance floor.

Helio Castroneves was applauded for doing better than last week, though he was completely forgettable for me. I keep getting stuck watching his partner Julianne dance. She's hot.

Jennie Garth had her best dance this week since starting the show, and had a fantastic Paso Doble.

Floyd Mayweather didn't fair as well, though the judges thought he had made a vast improvement in his style. Less fighter, more dancer.

Cameron danced as Superman, and the giant "C" on his chest was nothing if not distracting, though the dance part was very good, and almost redeemed him in my eyes for his past performances.

Marie Osmond did a fabulous job, though her scores didn't reflect it, and judge Bruno called her performance sleepy. I loved her rendition of a 'Sleeping Beauty' fantasy, and was impressed by the choreography she had to do. Bruno sucks, and Tom Bergeron called her "The Sleepy Stripper".

Melanie Brown looked amazing in her costume, and really was graceful and ladylike on the floor. Maks is hot.

Also it should be noted that nasally Drew Lachey went home because Samantha Harris came back from maternity leave sporting the largest set of mammaries since Anna Nicole Smith got her boobies enhanced. I was just glad that A) she didn't have one of those monsters pop out of her amazingly low-cut dress, and B) those moo-teats didn't spring a leak. Hopefully she was able to go pump during commercial breaks. Also amazing was that Tom Bergeron had no comments regarding those spectacularly large baby fun-bags.

Labels: Dancing With the Stars