After an abyssmal performance at the MTV VMA's, Britney Spears exited the stage in tears saying "I looked like a fat pig!" Apparently while on stage Brit could see herself on big screens all over the place, and wasn't pleased with what she saw.

Out there in excusesland, there are a myriad of stories circulating as to why the trainwreck that is Britney did so poorly for her comeback. In no particular order:

1) A parting of the ways with her stylist. Some reports say Ken Paves was the stylist and he refused to work with her and quit. Other reports say she canned him, and before he left he chopped up the long extension she was supposed to wear. She ended up wearing Jessica Simpsons line of exptensions called Hair-Do, and if that's how they look when on, count me out as a future customer.

More on the hair: Brit wanted to go brown for the night, and her handlers refused to allow it.

2) MTV had picked out a figure flattering corset outfit for Brit, which she refused, opting instead for the disastrous bra and hotpants number which she had brought with her from home.

3) Supposedly one of the stiletto heels on her boots broke as she was going on stage, which would account somewhat for some very apparent wobbles as she danced.

4) Someone said that she overheard Sarah Silverman rehearsing her skewering lines before Brit went on, but Sarah herself says she never rehearses out loud beforehand.

5)The entire routine was changed at the last minute to not include the intricate and uninsurable illusions planned by magician Criss Angel.

More on Criss Angel: Supposedly he dumped her right before she was supposed to go on, and was out with another woman the night before.

6) Yadda, yadda, yadda. The list goes on and on. All I know is she sucked rotten eggs when she should have given this, possibly her last shot at a comeback, 1000%. Dumbass.

Labels: Britney Spears, Criss Angel, Jessica Simpson