One Foul, Philandering Blind Vice

You prolly know Bubble-Butt Bub from his recurring role in a successful film franchise. Or maybe you saw him on the small screen way back when.

This blue-eyed, good-looking hump-a-rater has been in the Biz for years, but he's only recently jumped on our goss-obsessed radar—where he's now permanently ensconced, thanks to the following story about his smelly self:

Seems B3 was frequenting a New Yawk hot spot, where he ended up chatting up some comely chicas. They all decided to get a bite to eat, post-booty-shakin'.

Then B.B.B. decides to retire to his room with one gal in par-tick. All's sex-ay superswell as they're in bed, prenooky session. And then…it happens.

Whatever they noshed on musta not suited Bubble-baby, because he let a big one rip in bed, right in front of the horrified honey.

Yucko gross-out! What is it with you straight badasses? Don't you know you're supposed to go to the can, already, to do that crap, if you still wanna get some? Jeez.

Now, this air-despair biz is bad enough, right?

But even worse is that Mr. B. still tries to sleep with the poor babe. And, trust, said sister was not interested, thanks to her farting Romeo's errant behind. So, she hightailed it outta that smelly sack sitch pronto. Damn straight.

And when this horrified hon gets home later and Googles the offending B.B.B., she finds out he's actually married with children! Nice. Guess the wife-unit's olfactory skills work a little too well, huh?

I mean, the offended dame knew somethin' stunk about the whole scenario, but who knew he was that sleazy? So predictable.

And it ain't:

Tobey Maguire, Hugh Jackman, David Arquette

Labels: Blind Items